Bullying’s Evolution
While recently enjoying an evening of socially-distanced drinks and conversation at a friend’s, a woman I had never met before introduced herself and said how she knew the host. As is usual in our culture, she went on to tell us her job title, which is a Middle School Health Teacher. My first thought was, she is brave! The conversation flowed and eventually she disclosed that she has witnessed the recent years of LGBTQ acceptance in our community as a positive among students, but with that a new form of bullying has emerged. I believe her exact words were “Cis students are now being called too mainstream.” I was baffled at the way bullying has evolved over time.
I was bullied in elementary school first for being poor, and then because I was one of the first girls to start puberty. People I had called my best friends in Third Grade were enemies by Fifth Grade, and it was so damaging I requested my mother not make me go to Middle School with them. Thankfully I was granted a boundary exception to a nearby school. I was given a fresh start, where my history was unknown to many, and I was able to flourish as I found myself and a niche in the music community.
The bullying didn’t stop completely. In Eighth Grade I was accused of being a Lesbian, like it was a bad word, by close friends at a Slumber Party, after we agreed to practice kissing on each other. They said that I “seemed too into it.” I had my first kiss with a guy when I was fifteen, and he was older. It was awful! Anyways, I digress.
The Health Teacher’s statement at this small gathering immediately made me think about my fourteen year old nephew. I worried if he is being bullied. It seems to exist everywhere!
That led me to Google “The Science Behind Bullying”, which directed me to a long list of articles. In Dr. Sam Goldstein’s article titled “The Science of Bullying” I read:
“Bullying has also been found to increase during the middle school years. It is a problem that is not isolated to specific cultures but prevalent world wide.”
It goes on to state:
“There is also a large, emerging body of research suggesting that bullies are more likely to be convicted of criminal offenses as a adults, suffer from greater psychiatric problems, have difficulty with relationships and abuse substances. Victims of bullying also suffer, including reports of loneliness, diminished self-esteem, physical complaints and depression. They also have been reported to have a higher rate of suicidal thoughts and attempts.”
So, is there ever going to be a generation where kids can just be themselves without worrying about what their peers will think? Can we teach them to be open-minded and accepting?
I know it’s easier said than done, but as a previous Kindergarten Teacher, I’d like to think the younger we start the better. Social Emotional Coaching is new to curriculum, but at least it’s a start. Resources exist more now than they did twenty years ago. Here’s to hoping for more kindness in the world.
