I’m Trying…

I’m trying to not be impulsive, even though that is exactly how I am programmed.

Growing up in a single parent home, we moved a lot.

Every year or so.

When the lease was up, we moved on. Only to avoid the increasing rent.

From one place to another.

It’s why I get uneasy staying anywhere too long.

Stability is so foreign to me, I’d rather run from it, than embrace its strange unfamiliarity.

I’m trying to not be impulsive, but it’s not easy.

When “fight or flight” comes, running is my forte.

That’s why by the time you realize you love me, I have already moved on.

They say “Old habits die hard” AND “If you want a different outcome you have to try a different solution.”

So, when the “fork in the road” presents itself, I am trying to build new patterns.

I’m trying to not be impulsive, by not being myself.