Unlearning Objectification: Identifying the Difference Between Lust and Love

I was on the subway home from work today, and since I had just come from a massage therapy session with a trusted Massage Therapist and friend, I had on comfortable yoga pants. I did not think twice about my decision to board a train full of learing men. I felt vulnerable!

I instantly observed that the massage therapy, or energy healing, connected with old emotions and how a simple pressure point could trigger an unrelated memory. I had to remind myself that I was ‘in the now’.

Then I reflected that as a female, I am used to being treated like an object. Unfortunately that is how society creates us. Now I have to “deprogram” my relationship with men. In my book, Sexcapades: Lessons in Sex Ed, I describe how each partner I had helped me learn a lesson, or two. I also recognize a pattern that I seem to have learned . Society assumes women are objects, and for a long time, I allowed myself to be treated this way. I had to learn the difference between lust and love. Since I have begun practicing not identifying with my body as much, I have felt empowered to be comfortable and not care what I wear. It is pitiful that because I wore yoga pants to feel relaxed, men gawked at me.

I know that with the #Metoo movement, the voice of women has grown significantly, and as a feminist I support women 100%. But as these men stared at my yoga pants booty, I was reminded that I had a great experience with my Massage Therapist, and recalled that not all men are ‘pigs’. So here is a sincere “Thank You” to all the men who have not taken advantage of me or any other woman. In a time of Women’s Rights revolution, it is easy to forget the good guys, but let’s give a shout out to those men who stand with us in the battle for gender equality.